god damnit..i'm pissed...real pissed off here...arrghh....hez staying...fine fine fine...

okok..so today's V-day...i guess everything went ok..nothing exciting..nothing to be bum about..just another typical day...he came last nite..wif another fren...so happie to see him..i guess..gave me a card..that was unexpected...oh yea..he got me a Snoopy cell phone cover too...he gave it to me on monday..while we were at the gas station..that was sweet of him..i luv it so much...card was snoopy too..hehe..= )...that phone call while we lined up for car wash...werid..sigh..but i expected him to be acting this way....
so yea...
didn't finish writing about the wknd...Fri. and Sat was alot of fun...at Dragon Ball...he told me that he misses me..hehe...hmm...yea..so...hmm..
dinner here last nite wif him...stayed for awhile...then...he left again wif another fren...but he did msg. me rite at 12 to wish me a Happie V-day..hehe..= ) ...so happie...
now..i guess..waiting for him again...
wat the heck am i doing..sigh...i just made a card for him too..just hope he likes it...

blah blah blah

another day...sigh...write lata...

wow..itz been so long since i last wrote in here..guess i've been pretty tied up wif work n other things lately...
got back out to Toronto early Wed..gosh..i was feeling so guilty for missing classes when in fact i know i got like 3 midtermz coming rite up..but..arrghh..so yea..spend the day at York wif him again..then back to his house n we were online..he was "attending" the online writing class with (for) me..he was having so much fun out of it..*oh yea..yogurt at York*..-haha..only i would understand wat that meant..=P..he claimed he was too tired to drive me back home..so spend the nite at his place again..
Thurs. morning started off the usual way...waking him up but did not succeed...taking over his spot once again after he left..i dunno...is it really werid?...i mean...sigh..dunno...
oopz..phone call...hehe..

oh..heading out again..he called...=P..man..but itz like almost 1..arrgh..o well...gotta get him n sum other take a look over at this project for me anywaz...

was talking to another fren..kinda telling him about the "messy" situation i'm in...*sigh*...i dunno..i really dunno wat i'm doing anymore...we call each other the first thing we get up...we msg. each other...telling each other wat we r doing...it just doesn't seem rite..we r definitely becoming too close here...too close that i'm having 2nd thoughts about the feelings i have for him..this is so not good...hez..*sigh*..dun even know how i should be writing it..hez just..being too nice to me..i dunno if itz even rite to let this go on..

getting stress out here completely wif skool n other things..so much to worry about these days..feel like i'm gonna loose it any second here now...

all the little things i say..he members..all the little things i do..he members..n the bad thing is..itz the same the other way around...everything about him..itz stuck in my head..

alrite..one of my sis. needs to talk to me..n i'm so glad that shez been reading my stuff here...= )...sumtimes..have so much in mind..yet..u just dun wanna bother ppl. about it..so just blahhing on and on here about it..which helps..but then...itz nothing comparing it to talking to a good fren about it...thanx sis..can't wait to get together wif u n talk about everything n anything...miss u Angel...= )

so yea...was watching temptation island..normally i dun watch it..but i'm stuck here at Western..had nothing better to do..so decide to watch it..gosh..all of them get so 'tempted' so easily..i mean..is that wat ppl. r about?..u have a good relationship..yet..u decide to go on the show n test it..i dunno..they chose it..yet..they r like crying n getting pissed off when they see their other 1/2 getting into these "new flings"...wat the...gosh...and itz like...they get so pissed off..yet they r doing it themselves...wat a bunch of losers...hahha...
well..yea..i dunno..i think this IS wat life is really all about...selfish ppl. getting their hands on whoever they can seduce...on whoever they can get their hands on...geez...those ppl. on the show only know each other for wat..like a couple of weeks...n they r all over each other...geez...

well well well..make me think about wat i would do if i was in a similar situation...ur in a good relationship..yet if sumone comes along..u would try it out..rite?..i mean..if u dun..then who knows wat ur missing out on?..i guess..if i do think this way...then i can't blame all those guyz out there who seem to be...well..."flirting" around...coz..honestly..i think i did that before myself too...ur happie..yet..u wanna see if u can be happier...ahh...
shxt..and i just called those ppl. LOSERS...gosh..that makes me one of them too i guess..crap...

sigh..shxtty..shxtty..so yea..i'm quite confused wif wat i'm doing myself these days..i know he is "using" me sumhow..yet..i let it happen..am i the one to blame?..i mean..am i the one whoz getting myself into this mess?..i guess i shouldn't blame it on anyone else BUT me...if i wanna be happie..i guess i should really think about wat i'm doing here...*sigh*...wtf...